➵ this time kindness wins

[shootyourshot]

[It's been a miserable time for all, such is the nature of war. It still weighs heavily on Ashe's heart to know that Dedue is gone; he remembers fondly how tenderly the large man tended to the garden. How gentle he was, how kind and delightfully confused he was at the prospect of friendship with anyone. The world feels a lot lesser without him, and no doubt his death was the final blow dealt to Dimitri's suffering.

With Byleth's hands full as they are, Ashe takes it upon himself to go to the monastery at night, bringing a tray with him.

Dimitri is right where he expects, moodily glaring over the rubble that crowds the space. If nothing else, the man is easy to find right now.]

Your Highness, I have dinner.

Comments

[lancesalot]

[ He's absolutely going to continue feeling bad over it. The only choice is to take as good care of Ashe as he possibly can. He needs to... get himself together. He has to. He can't allow this to happen again. Even if Ashe did like it... did want it- he still scared himself. That was enough. ]

That's a tall order.

I will just- I will try.

[shootyourshot]

Dimitri...

[Ashe pulls back a little and he hesitates. He doesn't want to make this about himself, but he also does want to know--]

Do you regret it? I mean, I could-- we don't have to bring it up ever again.

[lancesalot]

What? Oh- no I...

It's not like that. I don't regret doing that with you. I just... regret how I did it. I was cruel. I was cruel like I have been to everyone.

[ He wilts again, closing his eye. ]

I don't want to be cruel anymore. I don't know what I'll do now. How I will reconcile my debt to the dead, but I- you made me realize I can't continue as I am.

[shootyourshot]

I kinda liked it, but... it's not worth it if you feel terrible about it.

[Ashe sits up a little bit so that he's more or less in Dimitri's lap.]

Dimitri, you're someone who's suffered more than anyone should ever have to. How much more do you need to suffer for those who have passed?

[lancesalot]

I want to do it properly for you... even if you do want things- ah. Roughly. I want to do that with love, not cruelty.

[ Ah. That. He turns his head, feeling that clutching in his chest again. ]

They demand it of me, Ashe. I cannot silence them, their voices follow me. I don't know what else to live for, if not for that. I am- I should have died with father. With Glenn. I should have perished in those flames. Yet why else was I left behind, if not to avenge them?

[shootyourshot]

[With love. Right. That would make sense. Wouldn't Dimitri want to do that kind of thing with someone he loves?

Right now, though, Ashe focuses on what Dimitri needs. He reaches up, gently cupping Dimitri's face in his hands.]

When my parents died, I thought only about helping my sister and brother. It's easy to let yourself be consumed by those you've lost, the people you love. It's easy to think how hard you want to avenge them. Maybe it's not easy to deal with it, but sinking into that kind of thinking... it sucks you in.

You need to find a reason to live, not a reason to die. Even if you don't know what that answer is right now, please think about it.

[lancesalot]

I... I will think about it.

Thank you, Ashe. For never giving up on me. [ He closes his eye, enjoying the touch, even though he feels undeserving of Ashe's unending kindness. ]

Ashe. I do not deserve someone like you, and yet I- I promise I will do my best to do right by you. If you'll give me a chance. Wretch that I am, perhaps I can still be... I can do something good. For the living. For you.