sleepytimejunction | ➵ this time kindness wins

➵ this time kindness wins

[It's been a miserable time for all, such is the nature of war. It still weighs heavily on Ashe's heart to know that Dedue is gone; he remembers fondly how tenderly the large man tended to the garden. How gentle he was, how kind and delightfully confused he was at the prospect of friendship with anyone. The world feels a lot lesser without him, and no doubt his death was the final blow dealt to Dimitri's suffering.

With Byleth's hands full as they are, Ashe takes it upon himself to go to the monastery at night, bringing a tray with him.

Dimitri is right where he expects, moodily glaring over the rubble that crowds the space. If nothing else, the man is easy to find right now.]

Your Highness, I have dinner.

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[ For a moment, there is silence as expected from the precedent that Dimitri has set thus far. He stands like a statue. It is odd to hear Ashe's voice instead of Dedue, or the Professor. An inward part of him scoffs, they sent the mildest little lamb before a beast? ]

Don't call me that.

[It's hard to see Dimitri like this. Where was the noble prince that was so determined to buy him sweets and earn his friendship? It wasn't that Ashe thought that Dimitri was without his own problems. Far from it, in fact; Dimitri had already suffered so much, and undoubtedly had to walk with those burdens everyday of his life.

Now, he's just barely getting by. That's what it feels like, isn't it?]

We already had that kind of talk before. If you remember. I know it was awhile ago.

But you should still eat, no matter what I call you.

[ In a blur of motion, Dimitri turns on him, suddenly so close- standing over him with a snarl on his lips. Hands poised like claws at Ashe's neck, but not touching. No, he stops just short, heavy breath ruffling Ashe's hair. ]

And what if I have you instead? You're afraid of ghosts and monsters, aren't you? You ought to be running from me, then. I am both

[ An empty threat, but he sells it rather well. ]

Ah--

[Mostly, he's startled; he's seen Dimitri on the battlefield, beastly and dangerous, powerful. It's alluring in a way, but it can also be frightening, naturally. Ashe swallows, but stands his ground.]

You're still flesh and blood. Even if you don't feel that way.

Which means you need your strength.

[ Having failed his intimidation roll, he allows an uncomfortable silence to settle before finally taking the tray with a grunt of annoyance and turning around to sit with it. ]

Fine.

[Relief sinks in for multiple reasons, and Ashe lets out a soft sigh. He hovers awkwardly for a moment before he goes to sit nearby but also giving Dimitri some significant space.]

Thank you. I'll feel better knowing you've eaten.

Can I bring you anything else?

No.

[ He reluctantly eats, and he does it nearly like an animal. No trace of the princely manners that once were, only instinct and anger and the voices he can't silence.

He glances to Ashe, realizing he's not going to leave. Ashe had always been so mild and sweet. There's a dark part of Dimitri that's surprised he's survived with those qualities intact.

Another glance. He's not leaving, is he? ]

All right.

[It's a stark difference. In the past, at least Dimitri tried to keep his manners, even if sometimes being in a rush would get the better of him. Here, it's as if he's lost his humanity, leaving just a beast behind.

He really must have been through a lot. Instead of disgust, Ashe only feels empathy for his prince.]

I remember what you said to me when we were still students, and I think about it sometimes. That you thought that I never seemed drawn to the darkness, despite everything.

I feel a bit like I should have known what you really meant. That you were talking about yourself. And... I'm sorry about that. But no matter what you say to me, I'm not going anywhere.

[ There's a pause in his eating, head turning just slightly as he does recall that conversation. It still stands true to him. Ashe is an infinitely better person. He swallows. There's no answer until he's finished eating at last, despite how much he resisted, he was starving. He deserves to starve. ]

Then you will be a tool for vengeance, and you will die with me.

[ There's no bite in his voice though, just sadness. ]

Is that what you really want?

[It's likely Ashe wouldn't even be here without the bonds he'd made, particularly with Byleth, Dimitri, and Dedue. Maybe he'd still be in Gaspard, and he'd have joined Count Rowe. A traitor to the kingdom, but holding up Lonato's honor.

The right thing is must harder than just taking orders. It's also following your heart.]

I'd rather see us both live through the end of it. Our people deserve to live peacefully.

I can want nothing else.

[ It's probably the most he's said to anyone since his return. People. People deserve to live peacefully. People deserve to live. ]

I am no longer a person.

I see.

[He wants to argue. That he hasn't forgotten the kind man who'd break his training weapons, bend needles without effort, and try to encourage Ashe to say his name, even as he struggled with it. The young prince who was unafraid to stand up for Dedue with no hesitation.

A good man. He knows that person must still be buried inside, somehow.]

I think you're wrong. But I won't bother you about it right now.

I'm just glad you're eating.

[ Silence. Deafening silence. Every part of him is angry and hateful and scared, but Ashe is none of those things. He can't find it in himself to punish him for that. ]

I'm sorry. Ashe.

Mm. Don't apologize. I'm not angry with you or anything.

It's just... I wish I could help you better with all of the hurt you must have inside of you. So if it's okay, I'd like to keep trying. Even if I can't do much, I'm happy just helping you.

I wish you would not.

[ The last thing he wants really, is to see more of his friends and loved ones suffer. Despite his state of mind, at his core, he knows that. ]

I know I can do little to stop you, though. So do as you please.

[There it is. That piece of Dimitri from five years ago, still surviving somewhere inside of the man he is now. Ashe smiles faintly, even if it is tired and worn.]

I understand.

I'll do my best to not give you more reasons for grief. I intend to see myself alive at the end of this. And I'm going to try to make sure you do, too. ...Even if you end up hating that.

Very well.

[ So they have an odd kind of agreement. Tenuous at best, but it's something. Something to grasp on to, even if it's clouded by resentment.

So Ashe's interactions become something of an anchor for him. Even if it's the barest of acknowledgement of his presence, it's far better than what he affords anyone else. ]

[For a time, it goes like this: Ashe bringing meals regularly despite Dimitri's growling and grumbling, the archer attempting to bring a slice of humanity back to him. It is, in part, successful; Dimitri eats, and will sometimes respond with words instead of grunts and glares.

He hopes one day that he will be a man again.

But that day will be in the future still. They are in a gruesome war, after all. Ashe is used to being off in part by himself to pick off soldiers on the field, to explore a path not yet taken and unlock the way.

That does come with its troubles, of course. An arrow hits his horse in the flank, causing him to rear up and throw Ashe off. With a surprised yell, Ashe tumbles to the dirt, watching Kyphon run off and scared. His first thought is that he hopes he can find his mount and help him.

Then he sees Imperial soldiers approaching. Ashe shakes his head, trying to clear it as he stumbles to his feet, pulling out a knife.

An archer in close quarters is not an excellent strategy.]

[ As they bear down on Ashe, something large bursts from the brush on the side of the open trail, ripping one of the men off their horse with a scream of agony as he's quickly launched with a sickening crack of bones into a tree on the other side.

The others do not fare much better as Dimitri practically eviscerates them with extreme prejudice, crushing limbs in his hands and slicing large, bloody swathes into their bodies with his lance. When everything is quiet again, he stands, red dripping off his armor, cloak and face, breath visible in the air.

And then he turns on Ashe. He's picked up by the collar of his shirt, almost like scruffing a cat- and unceremoniously tossed over Dimitri's shoulder as the man stalks away towards the back lines of their formation. ]

[It's not the first time he's witnessed Dimitri rip through his enemies like they were tissue paper. When the Flame Emperor had been revealed to be Edelgard, that was just the first hint of the darkness inside of Dimitri. Here and now, it almost seems just as personal to his future king as he rips into their enemies, rendering them into corpses gleefully, leaving meat and blood to decorate the battlefield.

It's a horrible, impressive display leaving Ashe feeling cold and hot at the same time. His throat tightens, and he feels like he should say something but he can't. Nothing comes out but an undignified squeak as he's lifted up like it's nothing and thrown over the prince's shoulder.]

Y-your Highness...! I can walk!

[Not that he struggles much, but he's also hoping his coat is adequately covering some of his confusing interest.]

Shut up.

[ That's the only answer Ashe gets as Dimitri stalks his way towards a safer area out of the way before finally leaning Ashe up against a tree. Almost immediately, he's taking off any armor and starting in on Ashe's clothes, not caring weather or not he damages them with the sharpened fingers of his gauntlets. Still, when those same fingers touch his bare skin, he's gentle.

He's examining him for wounds.

Hands travel over him, touching and squeezing for any damage or broken bones. When he finds none there, he unceremoniously tugs down his pants, leaving only his smallclothes to cover his shame. The cold metal of the gauntlets trace down his thighs as he searches, at last when he's satisfied that the man is unharmed, he looks back up at the very obvious other problem. ]

Hmmf. [ There's a dark look. This is a distraction. This is a distraction for both of them, and a glance up at Ashe, as if asking permission as those points finally ghost over the shape of his erection through the thin fabric. He's waiting. ]

Ah--

[For a moment, he thinks about stopping Dimitri, but ultimately finds himself all but clinging onto the tree. Being manhandled and halfway undressed is definitely not helping the growing problem between his legs that he's trying desperately to not think about.

But it gets worse. Of course it gets worse. It isn't just that he'd been alarmingly entranced by Dimitri's sheer strength, but like this he's being-- almost cared for? Despite how rough his behavior is, Dimitri's hands are actually surprisingly careful as he examines him.

And then, of course, Dimitri finds the problem.]

I-I'm sorry. You-- a-ah. [Ashe bites his lower lip and can't help but buck his hips into the lightest bit of contact.]

Y-you don't have to-- you can ignore that!

[Goddess, what a mess. What does this say about him on so many levels? Not just overly impressed by Dimitri's strength, but this is also his future king.]

[ He has very little time or patience for Ashe to be flustered. He simply sits, crossing his legs and pulling the slender man into his lap. That clawed gauntlet splays on his chest a moment, before trailing lower, delving in to pull his length out and wrap around it. While the tops of them are black steel, the inside palms are worn leather and mesh. Not too comfortable to have wrapped around your cock, but not the worst.

He simply starts stroking him, eyes distant as he works, slow at first, and then gaining speed. He isn't looking at Ashe, but there is a hint of softness in his expression. He's trying to treat this like a task and nothing more, but even like this, he's still got those threads of a bleeding heart. ]

Oh...

[Hands tremble as they come to rest on Dimitri's shoulders. He bites his lower lip, squirming a moment in Dimitri's lap before he finally gives up about his own shyness and just lets it happen.

Ashe whines, rolling his hips into Dimitri's hand eagerly, those powerful hands that saved his life. He catches the look on Dimitri's face; even though their eyes aren't meeting, his expression isn't as cold. He hopes that counts for something.]

D-Dimitri--

[ He just works at it, eye shifting away even more when Ashe says his name. No... no. No more Dimitri. Just a monster doing someone a favor. He keeps telling himself that, but he can't pretend like it doesn't affect him.

He makes no moves to satisfy himself though. That isn't for him. Just this is enough. ]

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