sleepytimejunction | ➵ this time kindness wins

[ He SHOULD be able to forget it. He should, he tells himself, after the march back to the monastery and everyone is settled again. Once he's taken up his post by the rubble pile and sitting into the wee hours, haunted by ghosts and now the image of Ashe panting in his lap. Those little sounds he made. His face when he came. The taste of it.

Pathetic. Disgraceful. Dimitri reminds himself that he is unworthy of even touching someone so good. So kind. Not like that, and the shame bites at his heels, even as he can feel his erection straining against the leather lining under his armor. Even as he's palming the codpiece and pressing, just to give himself something. Some pressure or something to rub against. Disgusting. Wretched. Filthy. Pathetic. ]

Your Highness?

[Once again, Ashe is here, quietly calling out to the prince. He has food again, still determined to help and look after him, even though he still thinks about how Dimitri had touched him. How filthy and entrancing it was when he licked off the mess. Goddess, that's a secret he'll take to his grave.

But just like that, Dimitri's left it behind. Of course he had to have, right?]

I brought dinner.

[ Well. It's not every day that the object of your desire walks right in while you're nearly touching yourself to the thought of them.

And yet, here he is. It's both lucky and unlucky all at once. Dimitri doesn't have the wherewithal to stop himself as he turns on his heel and walks towards Ashe with purpose. Taking the tray and while he's tempted to just throw it, there's that human part of him that knows Ashe brought it for him, and he shouldn't. So he doesn't. He sets it aside, grabbing a fistful of Ashe's shirt and dragging him roughly to the closest wall, trapped between two thick arms, and Dimitri standing over him. Breathing hard.

There's an almost apologetic look on his face. Something reminiscent of his younger self. Something guilt-ridden and sad breaking through the anger and hostility. No, not sad. Needy. Those steel claws grasp Ashe's chin so that Dimitri can kiss him, rough and wanton with teeth and tongue. ]

[There's a gasp when he's dragged around before being shoved against the wall. For a moment, he's in that weird space of being both intimidated but also oddly revering his prince for his might. And for a moment, he catches the look in Dimitri's eye, that bit of softness. That bit of him that still makes him a man.

A better person, a noble person might push away Dimitri, or just let him do what he wants. Not engage.

But Ashe is reaching up shyly to touch his cheek. His mouth opens with a whimper.]

[ Ah. That small bit of permission is all he needs. He pants between messy kisses, almost frantic to drink in more and more of them- desperate to slide their tongues together, to suck on Ashe's.

He doesn't even realize he's grinding his hips into Ashe's until he's feeling like the armor he wears is too small for him. One hand moves down, dragging clawtips over the slight body until he can cup between his legs. Feel for the shape of his cock through his pants and grind his palm against it. ]

I want to fuck you. Right now. [ That's the growled phrase that comes out, husky and drenched in need. ]

[It's like he's being devoured, ravaged just by the other man's mouth. Ashe's lips tremble and he squirms, whimpering and letting himself want. He should do better, but he doesn't.

Ashe gasps against him at the hand cupping him, his cock twitching against the palm. A hand fists at the fur of Dimitri's cloak, clutching at him.

He should say no. Or something.]

Please.

[ He isn't patient, and he isn't gentle enough to spare Ashe's clothes, the sound of seams tearing as he claws them off enough to get at what he wants. That slender, pale body. His tongue slides up Ashe's belly, up his chest until Dimitri finds a nipple he can suck on, scrape with his teeth as he takes Ashe's cock in hand and starts to jerk him roughly.

There's no lube or oil to speak of, so he's going to get it from Ashe. Once he's decided that he's abused that poor nipple enough, he ducks his head to take that length into his mouth. It's not attractive, the way he just swallows down as much as he can, at least to him anyways. It's greedy and base, wanting to pull an orgasm from Ashe as quickly as possible for his own purposes. ]

A-ah!

[It's rough and dirty, all of it, but that's part of what makes him succumb so easily. Ashe's face is pink and he's squirming already, whining as Dimitri torments him deliciously. His nipple immediately hardens, becoming pert and sensitive under his teeth and tongue alike.

He can hardly keep up; Dimitri's hand is on his cock, stroking, and it plumps up eager and stiff into his palm. Before he knows it, Dimitri is swallowing him down, and Ashe squeals at the sensation.]

Oh-- Dimitri--

[ He shouldn't like how good Ashe sounds, hearing his name like that. It's awful, what he's doing, he tells himself. Still, he's grasping Ashe by the hips, bobbing his head as he haphazardly works him, one hand moving to squeeze and stroke what his tongue and lips can't reach.

He glances up, and there's one of those flashes of humanity in that look, just for a moment. Wanting to do well. Wanting to know that it feels good. Eager to please. Not just taking what he wants. Something in him enjoys this act, too. He pulls his head back enough to tease the head of that cock more precisely with his tongue, hand squeezing and pulling, aggressively trying to wring an orgasm out of him. ]

[Goddess, it's too much. It's too much, seeing Dimitri crouched down before him, gazing up eagerly. His tongue is out, working his cock over, his hand stroking without any reprieve. It's so fast that Ashe can't keep up.

So he bucks with a cry, his hips trembling as he finishes, coming hard and quick. He'd wanted to ask Dimitri to slow down, selfishly wanting to savor it -- but there's also something satisfying about just letting his prince take whatever it is that he needs.]

[ It's good. It's good to feel him squirm like that. How cute and whiny he is when he comes, and Dimitri backs off, opening his mouth for it still. Some of it lands on his tongue, and the rest on his face, beading down his chin. He liked that a lot more than he should have.

He's got what he needs now, and he pulls off his right gauntlet, spitting the contents of his mouth into his palm, wiping the rest off his face with his fingers, using it to slick them up before pulling Ashe forward by the hips, He only gets a little warning press before there's a finger shoved roughly into him, and then another, twisting and spreading him. This is... not ideal lube, but it'll work. It's filthy but so is he, poor Ashe will have to take a bath. The twisting turns to steady, hard thrusts. ]

[For a short moment, he's able to bear witness how beautiful Dimitri looks, his tongue out and a mess along his chin. But Ashe isn't able to bask in this long. He doesn't really question Dimitri cleaning off his own face, but when he spits into his palm there's a confused look for a split second.

Oh. Oh, now he gets why Dimitri was so eager to make him come so soon.

The fingers thrusting inside burn as he's spread out, Ashe letting out a strained groan, but he still tries to help however he can by spreading his legs, even as they tremble from the effort. The pressure burns, and he's not given any reprieve whatsoever. Still, that doesn't feel bad, just wonderfully dirty -- all of this with his prince, done in the Goddess' monastery.]

D-Dimitri-- [He hiccups the name, biting his lower lip as he starts to feel himself get hard again. It's embarrassing, but he does like the treatment.]

[ Hearing his name on Ashe's lips like this only drives him on until he can wait no more. Pulling his fingers out unceremoniously, he simply picks Ashe up to arrange him how he likes, against the stone wall behind him. Soon enough the tip of his cock is pressing in where his fingers had been and this is so much more. Given the quality of what they're using as lubricant isn't... great, it's rough, harder to push in, but eventually he does manage to pop inside and work himself in to the hilt after a lot of stop and go.

Once he's in though, he gives Ashe a few testing thrusts, something wicked on his lips as he leans in to bite at his neck licking along the line that leads up to his jaw as he starts to move, holding him up, helpless like this. ]

[It's somehow a terrible combination of feeling helpless to Dimitri's whims and finding his own pleasure in providing it to him. It's rough, almost bordering on too much when Dimitri sinks in to the hilt. The burn of it sears through him, but there's also pleasure as Dimitri buries inside of him.

He feels tears in his eyes, overwhelmed, especially just after he'd just come. No reprieve, but being overstimulated is oddly good too.

Ashe reaches up, placing his hands on Dimitri's shoulders, helpless to anything else.] A-ah. [He whimpers at the bite, but doesn't struggle.]

Ashe. [ The name comes out as barely a word but a snarl as he fucks into him relentlessly, biting and sucking on whatever bare patch of skin his mouth can reach. Every thrust is brutal and fast, driving into the archer like it's their last night on earth. There's still an undertone of desperation there. He's not rough because he wants to cause pain- he's terrified. Addled mind so full that he claws at the first thing that allows him any hint of clarity, and it's this. It's Ashe. Poor Ashe, whimpering and shaking in his arms as he bucks into him.

Even so, he can still see there's pleasure there. He thinks, if he slowed down, if he took his time. Curled Ashe up in his lap and made love to him properly, how good it could be. It could. He could- but he doesn't deserve. Ashe deserves someone who can be kind, soft, loving... he growls again, angry at himself. It doesn't stop his hips though, and at last, he buries his face in Ashe's shoulder and comes. It's a messy orgasm, strangling his voice and making his body go rigid as he fills the lithe man in his arms. ]

[The archer chokes when he hears his name. It's under a beastly growl as Dimitri's mouth is ravaging his throat and shoulders, marking him up. It still makes him shudder anyway, and he clutches on tighter.

He likes this. He wants to feel the aches later, and know that his prince had left them.

Finally, Dimitri finishes. It feels so hot, inside and out. He hurts, but he still feels good. Ashe's cock remains hard, pressed up against his own belly, twitching and sensitive. He can deal with it later.

For now, Ashe reaches for Dimitri, gently petting his hair.]

[ Something in him cools with that relief, and he actually looks at Ashe. Looks at the mess he's made of him. That same something in him clenches his chest. He can hear his own thoughts for the moment, and feel how kindly Ashe is touching him. His face turns soft again.

Fingers softly brushing against Ashe's cheek. He pulls himself out, sinking to the floor and taking the archer with him, holding him. Hugging him. ]

I am... so sorry, Ashe. I should not have- I hurt you, didn't I?

[There he is, Ashe thinks tiredly. A fond smile forms on his face and he leans into the hand on his cheek. The embrace is tender, despite what a horrible mess he is. He can feel spend running out of him, dripping down his legs, but Dimitri holds him anyway.]

It's okay. I wanted you to. And if I didn't... you'd have stopped if I said "no".

[There's no question in his voice. Dimitri is clearly many things, but the consent he hoped was clear.]

I'll be okay. It aches, but I, um... I like it. [He can't help but blush when he admits that.]

But I-

[ He's not even sure what to make of that. Is he just saying that? He didn't say no... but that doesn't help the blazing guilt he feels.

Very carefully, he props him against the wall long enough to pull up his own pants, and take off his cloak. Wrapping it around the archer's lithe form, he scoops him up and strides down the hall toward the baths. He's going to take advantage of these precious moments of clarity and at least try to be decent.

Ashe is still getting manhandled though, as the hot water is arranged for, and he lowers him into the tub. ]

Ah-- wait, um--

[But Dimitri does not wait. He uses his cloak to pick up Ashe, even though he's horribly filthy. It's very sweet, but he also can't help but think how messy the poor cloak will be.

He'll try to make it up to his prince, surely. For now, he finds himself being bridal carried away to a hot bath. It... it does feel really nice, and it makes it easier this way than trying to limp his way over, at least.

Ashe hesitates, then touches Dimitri's hand.]

Do you want to come in with me...?

[ For a moment, he considers just getting up and walking away. Standing by his little pile of rubble and contemplating how this makes him an even worse man.

There's Ashe though, and right now he feels... human, with him. Human and Goddess, it's quiet for once. He can hear himself think which is both good and bad.

So, just for now, he chooses to be a human. Just a little. Even if he doesn't deserve to be. He slowly unclips his armor and peels his old, filthy clothes off before very cautiously sinking into the bath. It's been years since he's used real, hot water. Usually a dip in the river was as good as it god, and he actually whimpers as he sinks into it. It's so good. He doesn't deserve this, but it's so good. ]

[There he is.

Right now, Dimitri looks so human. Ashe relaxes, and he scoots closer, just enough so he can lean a little bit against his prince.]

It's okay. I'm okay. I promise.

[ Arms curl around Ashe, and he pulls him close, maybe a little too tight. ]

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[ He shakes, burying his face in Ashe's shoulder, and cries. It feels... oddly relieving to let it go. He feels worse for burdening Ashe yet again, but the floodgate is open, and realizing he could have potentially really hurt him, even if he didn't terrifies him. Knowing that he didn't want to do that. Knowing that he actually does care, no matter how much he tells himself he only wants revenge.

Even more, is that he wants to cling to this last sherd of humanity. ]

Oh, Dimitri...

[Though it breaks his heart to hear his prince weep, Ashe also sees the worth of it. Finally, just a bit more humanity is restored in this man. The embrace is tighter than is really comfortable, but he doesn't stop him. Instead, Ashe reaches up and pets a hand through his hair, inviting him to be as close as he'd like.]

It's all right. Just let it out.

[ Oh, he does. He cries until there's simply nothing left but that scraped out feeling. He can truly feel the fatigue in his body now, it's as though he's suddenly realized that there are real physical barriers. ]

Ah.

[ He can hardly fathom what the right thing to say is. He's emptied everything out now, but there's very little to fill the space. Just Ashe... so he slowly lays back, pulling the smaller man with him to rest against his chest, and hold him more loosely. ]

➵ this time kindness wins

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