That's rather flattering to hear, honestly. Sometimes I'm afraid that being around me just makes you... tense. All you ever want to do is look out for me and... well. I'm grateful, Dedue. More than you realize.
[ He pauses and laughs again. ]
Perhaps I should... tell you more often. Or at least say thank you.
[ He clears his throat. ]
In any case, I'm just glad you feel more relaxed around me. I simply wish that I could see more of your relaxation... or perhaps I'm simply missing it.
[The laugh does make him feel better. How too rare it is for Dimitri to sound more like himself away from others, truthfully.]
You never make me feel tense, Your Highness.
[Hopefully, that isn't too forward.]
It is likely I am simply not expressing it well. [Considering he's not very skilled in expressing himself in general, that's hardly a surprise.] ...But perhaps there are other ways to show you, if you'd like.
[ Dimitri does seem less rigid when it's just the two of them. Like some part of him feels as if he doesn't have to hold himself quite so straight or keep himself constrained. ]
[Often, he's watched Dimitri interact with others and place on a polite smile, convincing enough that he gives off a more traditional princely appearance. They don't always appear that sincere, but this one... feels more like the Dimitri he knows.
Dedue glances down at his own hands, like it's something he should keep to himself.]
I do not mean to concern you.
[Was Dimitri worried for him? That won't do.]
I also embroider. Attempt, I suppose. It is not always successful. [At least to his standards.]
[There's a pause. This is likely inappropriate. He shouldn't, he needs to be whatever Dimitri requires of him. But, he turns his hand, daring to let their palms touch.]
It isn't foolish. I often think the same, when the day is finished and you need not present yourself to pacify others.
When you smile and it is yours, not for someone else.
[ Oh. The touch of their hands, however brief, makes him start just a little. It's... soothing. He wants more of that. But is that truly appropriate? ]
I - I'm glad. I wish I could show you that side of myself more often.
[ He truly does, but it seems like a struggle at times. ]
[There's the temptation to hold on, squeeze his hand, but Dedue remembers himself. This is already too much, very likely. Perhaps Dimitri is too polite to pull away now? He hesitates, just a moment longer before he goes to take his hand away.]
You need not worry to do such a thing for me. The moments in which I find them are enough.
[He could never ask Dimitri to do anything more than he already has for Dedue's sake.]
[ Oh. Dimitri actus without thinking, closing his fingers around Dedue's hand as he tries to pull it away. He doesn't want him to leave. Not yet. ]
Dedue, you deserve the world. If anything, you do more for me than I've ever done for you.
[ His hand is warm; the callouses from weapons practice seem to fit perfectly against his own and Dimitri thinks his face might be flushing. He presses on. ]
I - I think the world of you. I don't know if I can put it into words.
[Dedue doesn't fight the hand holding his own, and slowly he closes his fingers.]
Your Highness, that is not so.
[He tries to fight off his own blush with some mild success. Lightly, he squeezes Dimitri's hand.]
Before you saved me, I yearned for death. I felt I had no purpose, and I was ready to join my brethren. You came to my rescue regardless of all that had happened to you.
...You gave me reason to live again. I cannot think of enough I could do for you.
[ Dimitri doesn't quite know what to say to that. He's always known that Dedue had strong feelings about him. How could he not? But this sounds... like something else? Or perhaps he's merely reading too much into it. He squeezes his hand in reply. ]
I would like you to live for yourself. But... if you have to live for me... I suppose that isn't all that bad a thing.
This is the path I have chosen. Not to repay a debt, but to see your ideals come true. I will be there.
[There's that part of him that wishes he could be a bit more honest. That he could indeed confess more properly, but Dimitri hardly needs yet another burden.]
[ Dimitri pauses, feeling a little ashamed, a little unsure. His heart is racing in his chest and for once he feels suffused with a warm glow. A sense of happiness. Is he being selfish? He doesn't know. ]
I-
[ He looks at him. Thinks of all the sidelong glances he's given Dedue. Thinks of the way he wants to spend time with him. ]
[What is he to say to that? He could interpret Dimitri's words a number of ways, but for both of them, it's something of a confession, isn't it? And yet...]
I ask that you correct me if I'm wrong with understanding what you are saying.
[There's a pause, and Dedue gives Dimitri's hand another squeeze. He thinks he has this right, and it would probably be only moderately embarrassing if he were wrong. Still, there's nothing more he cherishes than his prince. Nothing else matters, but that also means being wise to the reality of the world around them.]
I commit everything I am to you, Your Highness. I only advise you be cautious in what you choose to tell me next, for your sake. Not because of me. I would not be unhappy with whatever is in your heart. However, I know that there are so many who would not be accepting. Even now, there are guards and knights who whisper needless gossip.
[A Duscur man being His Highness' vassal is enough to make a difficult reputation. More than that would only harm Dimitri.]
I... don't care about that gossip or what other people say. I'm going to be king one day, aren't I?
[ Which is braver than he feels, honestly, but now that the words are spilling out of him he doesn't feel like he can stop. ]
I want you with me. Always. No matter what anyone says, no matter what someone might say behind my back. It doesn't matter to me in the least. [ He squeezes Dedue's hand in reply and he keeps going, not knowing how to stop. ]
You... you mean the world to me, Dedue. I want to be able to reach out to you. To touch you whenever I can. If that means I must endure scorn from those more ignorant, then I will do so without reservation.
[Is that really so wise? Dedue wants to agree with him. Let himself be whisked away to the idea that they could do as they please, despite what the eyes of others would see or scathing words muttered to each other.
He raises Dimitri's hand. It's risking so much.]
I would desire nothing else than to give you what you ask. I only request you think on what it is you truly want.
I know that I could never refuse you. You are my world... Dimitri.
[Lightly, he presses his lips to Dimitri's fingers. He feels like if he did more, he might very well ruin everything.]
The press of lips oh-so-gently against his fingers make his cheeks color. He glances at Dedue, down at his hand, and then up again. ]
Then... don't refuse me.
[ He murmurs that. His heart aches for a moment - how can he ask this of Dedue? Is he being selfish? He leans in slightly to touch his forehead to Dedue's; he hovers for a moment, trying to find a way to express his feelings. ]
[A breath slowly escapes Dedue, as if he is relieved that his affection was not too bold for either of them. He lets Dimitri rest his forehead against his own, his own eyes closing for a moment.]
Then I will not.
[His other hand hesitantly rises up, his fingers touching the side of Dimitri's face, rough calluses being cautious with much softer skin.]
[ This is daring. Maybe too daring. But Dimitri hasn't allowed himself anything these last few years. Maybe the ghosts can be quiet for a little longer. ]
This isn't - it isn't because you feel indebted, is it?
[ There's a note of fear in his voice. Like this is all because of some debt. But he can't believe that. Doesn't want to. ]
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[ He pauses and laughs again. ]
Perhaps I should... tell you more often. Or at least say thank you.
[ He clears his throat. ]
In any case, I'm just glad you feel more relaxed around me. I simply wish that I could see more of your relaxation... or perhaps I'm simply missing it.
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You never make me feel tense, Your Highness.
[Hopefully, that isn't too forward.]
It is likely I am simply not expressing it well. [Considering he's not very skilled in expressing himself in general, that's hardly a surprise.] ...But perhaps there are other ways to show you, if you'd like.
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[ Dimitri does seem less rigid when it's just the two of them. Like some part of him feels as if he doesn't have to hold himself quite so straight or keep himself constrained. ]
I'd be interested to hear about them.
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Dedue is quiet a moment.]
In my free time, when I am calm, I work with my hands. It allows me some peace.
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[ Dimitri smiles. ]
I've seen you gardening once or twice. I enjoy seeing you so at peace, honestly. It's... reassuring.
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Dedue glances down at his own hands, like it's something he should keep to himself.]
I do not mean to concern you.
[Was Dimitri worried for him? That won't do.]
I also embroider. Attempt, I suppose. It is not always successful. [At least to his standards.]
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[ He reaches out on impulse to put a hand on his wrist. ]
It feels like... like something private. For just me. That's - oh, listen to me.
[ Dimitri shakes his head. ] I'm being foolish.
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[There's a pause. This is likely inappropriate. He shouldn't, he needs to be whatever Dimitri requires of him. But, he turns his hand, daring to let their palms touch.]
It isn't foolish. I often think the same, when the day is finished and you need not present yourself to pacify others.
When you smile and it is yours, not for someone else.
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I - I'm glad. I wish I could show you that side of myself more often.
[ He truly does, but it seems like a struggle at times. ]
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You need not worry to do such a thing for me. The moments in which I find them are enough.
[He could never ask Dimitri to do anything more than he already has for Dedue's sake.]
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Dedue, you deserve the world. If anything, you do more for me than I've ever done for you.
[ His hand is warm; the callouses from weapons practice seem to fit perfectly against his own and Dimitri thinks his face might be flushing. He presses on. ]
I - I think the world of you. I don't know if I can put it into words.
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Your Highness, that is not so.
[He tries to fight off his own blush with some mild success. Lightly, he squeezes Dimitri's hand.]
Before you saved me, I yearned for death. I felt I had no purpose, and I was ready to join my brethren. You came to my rescue regardless of all that had happened to you.
...You gave me reason to live again. I cannot think of enough I could do for you.
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[ Dimitri doesn't quite know what to say to that. He's always known that Dedue had strong feelings about him. How could he not? But this sounds... like something else? Or perhaps he's merely reading too much into it. He squeezes his hand in reply. ]
I would like you to live for yourself. But... if you have to live for me... I suppose that isn't all that bad a thing.
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[There's that part of him that wishes he could be a bit more honest. That he could indeed confess more properly, but Dimitri hardly needs yet another burden.]
To regret being here with you is impossible.
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Then... stay with me. For as long as you can. That's all I ask.
[ Which is dangerously close to a confession in of itself. ]
I would miss you dearly if you were to ever leave.
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As you wish, Your Highness.
[As if he could ever desire anything else than be by Dimitri's side.]
For as long as you will have me.
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[ Dimitri pauses, feeling a little ashamed, a little unsure. His heart is racing in his chest and for once he feels suffused with a warm glow. A sense of happiness. Is he being selfish? He doesn't know. ]
I-
[ He looks at him. Thinks of all the sidelong glances he's given Dedue. Thinks of the way he wants to spend time with him. ]
...do you know what I'm asking?
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I ask that you correct me if I'm wrong with understanding what you are saying.
[There's a pause, and Dedue gives Dimitri's hand another squeeze. He thinks he has this right, and it would probably be only moderately embarrassing if he were wrong. Still, there's nothing more he cherishes than his prince. Nothing else matters, but that also means being wise to the reality of the world around them.]
I commit everything I am to you, Your Highness. I only advise you be cautious in what you choose to tell me next, for your sake. Not because of me. I would not be unhappy with whatever is in your heart. However, I know that there are so many who would not be accepting. Even now, there are guards and knights who whisper needless gossip.
[A Duscur man being His Highness' vassal is enough to make a difficult reputation. More than that would only harm Dimitri.]
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[ Which is braver than he feels, honestly, but now that the words are spilling out of him he doesn't feel like he can stop. ]
I want you with me. Always. No matter what anyone says, no matter what someone might say behind my back. It doesn't matter to me in the least. [ He squeezes Dedue's hand in reply and he keeps going, not knowing how to stop. ]
You... you mean the world to me, Dedue. I want to be able to reach out to you. To touch you whenever I can. If that means I must endure scorn from those more ignorant, then I will do so without reservation.
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[Is that really so wise? Dedue wants to agree with him. Let himself be whisked away to the idea that they could do as they please, despite what the eyes of others would see or scathing words muttered to each other.
He raises Dimitri's hand. It's risking so much.]
I would desire nothing else than to give you what you ask. I only request you think on what it is you truly want.
I know that I could never refuse you. You are my world... Dimitri.
[Lightly, he presses his lips to Dimitri's fingers. He feels like if he did more, he might very well ruin everything.]
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The press of lips oh-so-gently against his fingers make his cheeks color. He glances at Dedue, down at his hand, and then up again. ]
Then... don't refuse me.
[ He murmurs that. His heart aches for a moment - how can he ask this of Dedue? Is he being selfish? He leans in slightly to touch his forehead to Dedue's; he hovers for a moment, trying to find a way to express his feelings. ]
Even if it's only for us.
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Then I will not.
[His other hand hesitantly rises up, his fingers touching the side of Dimitri's face, rough calluses being cautious with much softer skin.]
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This isn't - it isn't because you feel indebted, is it?
[ There's a note of fear in his voice. Like this is all because of some debt. But he can't believe that. Doesn't want to. ]
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[He swallows, and adds softly:] Including my heart. That has always been yours. This, I promise.
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[ He laughs - relieved and amused all at once. ]
That's fair, isn't it?
[ He squeezes Dedue's hand and then, after another moment of hesitation, he leans in to try and kiss him. Now or never, right? ]
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